There are so many topics about
- rule breaking
- spanking positions
- consistency etc.
I think there is too much emphasis on punishment, and not enough on learning.
By this I mean that Domestic Discipline is exactly what those words mean -
discipline in the home - not domestic punishment.
The standard procedure for many new DD couples is;
- they talk together about what they need to make the home run smoothly -
- and then make rules as guidelines.
Then comes the punishment for breaking these rules.
We all learn by doing - we learn from our mistakes. Why punish someone who is trying to find their way in something so completely new as a domestic discipline relationship?
Being a teacher, I know that criticism (read: punishment) is not the best way to teach/learn something new.
No one likes being punished or criticized in the learning phase - it's a negative action.
Do parents yell at a baby when it's learning to walk, every time it falls down?
No - they don't.
Why should a new DDer be punished from day one?
From my own teaching experience , I know that I get much better results with discussion and praise.
Learning Domestic Discipline is no different.
- There are a million old habits that need to be un-learned.
- There is a new mind-set that needs to be learned and then internalized.
- There are new roles to accept and new responsibilities to take on.
- There is a new form of communication to employ.
- There are a new rules to abide by.
It really takes a long time to re-learn so many new things.
Here at our house - we've come up with learning reminders. Small spankings that help me learn to embrace the role of a submissive wife to my hubby and not contradict him and his decisions all the time.
They also teach me to respect that his word is final and to obey his decisions - and to stop negotiating with him on every little thing.
These small reminders help Jack learn to take control, be the man of the house, embrace his new role as leader and take responsibility for the both of us.
DD keeps him on his toes and he is learning to play an active part in our marriage - and..
we are learning to communicate in a whole new way.
The only reason I can think of to really punish someone, is if they do something to hurt the relationship - on purpose.
I guess the point of this blog is to say that Domestic Discipline is not all about punishment, but about learning a new lifestyle that will make everyone happier.
Happy New Year dear DD friends!!