I know that many don't like that word - but I don't care!!
I guess coming from a "Women's Lib" generation, that would sound like I'm being a wimp.
But I feel it's getting back to basics.
Moving into a role that was meant to be.
I'm dead tired of believing my world will fall apart if I'm not:
- A part of all the decisions being made -
- Trying to make time to do everything -
- Being everywhere at one time -
- Keeping an eye on everyone -
- Keeping the house on track -
- Knowing the state of our finances -
- Making everyone happy -
- Being a good wife, mother, colleague, shopper, teacher, mentor, friend.
That's why, in such a short time, I've made a life-changing decision.
I'm letting Jack do the things he does best. I'm working on not butting in, negotiating,
arguing and dominating every single situation and decision.
But how to unlearn these "bad" habits that took a life-time to learn?
Submission has to be the answer.
Here at the beginning, I've had to stop myself a million times from falling back into old patterns.
Everything is new and requires a huge amount of restraint and effort.
It's all on the surface still - so how do we go about making it a part of the fabric of who we are?
I, for one, know that if Jack steps up and takes the lead, that will help a lot - and thank goodness, he has!!
To get into "submissive" mode - I've asked him to give me maintenance spankings everyday.
I need to learn, know and understand that the decisions he makes are non-negotiable.
I need to submit to his will.
I need to understand that he is the boss now. He runs things. He determines my disciplines and keeps me in line.
Even though disciplining me is totally new for him - he seems to be embracing his new authority and the respect, admiration and love that goes along with it.
All I can say is - it is helping me so much in accepting my new role as a submissive wife,- and loving it!
I can let go and relax - knowing that he knows best and appreciating all he does.
Do these spankings hurt? You bet!
Is it worth it? Yes it is!
I'm learning to put myself in his hands and trusting him to take care of me in so many ways.
So that's where we are at the moment - and I couldn't be happier!