I've been reading about journals, punishment books and lists that DD wives have written and then shown to their husbands.
I have also read about daily confessions and even women who have cameras installed in their homes, so their hubbys could keep an eye on them when at work.
Let me start by saying that I do not judge.
If a wife and her HoH have decided that there should be cameras in their home - and they are happy with this and the wife feels safe and secure- and it works for them - I'm all for it. To each his own.
I was deeply inspired by the fact that these wonderful women told their hubbys everything DD related - they did during the day, both good and bad.
You may wonder why...................
but I totally understand why.
It was to give their HoHs more authority and control of the house.
He is the leader - he should know what goes on and if his wife is or is not living up to her goals.Knowing what goes on, gives the husband the option to make decisions and discipline - if necessary, even though he isn't at home at the time of the infraction.
I see nothing wrong with this. But is does demand love and trust - from both spouses.
An example from a journal:
One submissive wife had a bad habit of swearing, which her HoH was working hard at changing - but he had the problem of not knowing if she swore at home when he was a work. They both agreed that this was a problem, both at home with children and in public.
Being an honest woman - she decided to write down in her journal every time she swore during the day. This pleased her HoH because he could discipline her when he came home from work - to help her change her bad habits - and it worked!!
What a beautiful form of honesty.
I've decided to try to write all the good things and bad things I do during the day and letting my HoH read them every night.
I believe the more my HoH knows what I do, the more in control he is.
I will gladly take the consequences - because they are for my own good - and I know my HoH will do anything he can to help me be a really good wife.
I chose this lifestyle, because I wanted to change my bad attitude with the help of my Hubby.
I would love to hear from others who have tried this.
I think I will learn a lot from this!
Hugs
Jack's Jill
Hi Jill,
ReplyDeleteUsually during maintenance Daddy will ask me if there is anything he needs to know about and that is when one tells him everything. It usually works best when we are taking a break in the spank and he is rubbing so one can think more clearly.
It can be hard because it usually results I a longer session but its also nice to clear the slate.
Hi dancingbarez
DeleteI think honesty is the best thing.
It's wrong to keep things from our daddys.
They don't deserve lies, when all they want
is to take care of us and help us!
Lying is a breach of 4 Ds in our book.
Disloyalty - dishonesty - disrespect and disobedience.
Pretty bad - huh?
Thanks for your comment!
Hugs
Jack's Jill
You have inspired me :)
ReplyDeleteWeekly Vic and I talk strictly DD, it is my time to tell him what went wrong with the week and what worked. I am an open book with him and will not hold anything from him even if it means a trip OTK. I have thought about a journal but time is so precious to me I barely have time to post. Please let me know how it works out for you. Anything that works well is worth making time for:)
ReplyDeleteDaddy is lucky enough to currently have a job where we can more often than not communicate during the day. When it's not busy, and the internet cooperates at his facility, he can be on messenger during slow moments. And he always calls at lunch. So between those times, if things come up, I tell him what happened and why. And then of course, if something happens between our last contact and his arrival home I'll let him know I need to speak with him when he is ready, so that he first has time to unwind. Usually within half an hour we can talk, and resolve any issues.
ReplyDeleteI have a nilla friend who knows about us, and doesn't agree with our lifestyle. If we're out or talking and something happens and I say I have to tell Daddy, she goes nuts - You're an adult. How is he to know? He's not here! She has no accountability (perhaps why her relationship ended), and does not understand ours. No, he won't know, but I will. And I don't want anything between us.
(((hugs)))
Wonderful that you two are in touch during the day.
DeleteI really feel sorry for people whose marriages are ruined because they didn't find another way to live together.
hugs
Jill
I find it so hard to confess. I admire people who can write diaries about things they have done wrong or rules they have broken.
ReplyDeleteCallie
Callie - -I have never confessed or written a journal before, but I know it will be a good thing to do - why don't you do it with me?
DeleteHugs
Jill
Hi Jill
ReplyDeleteWell we talked about this last night :)
I do confess, every night, it was his decision, and one I find important, and as much as the consequences are unpleasant, I find it necessary as it gives me closure and I hate hiding things from him.
He took the decision from me, by telling me we are doing this, it feels better this way, and I do hate disappointing him and find myself doing the things he asks, so I don't have to look in his eyes and tell him, I've been bad :)
Good luck x
Hi Missy
DeleteBy taking the decision from you, your hubby is leading the way! Disappointing my hubbys is worse than any spanking!
Hugs
Jill
Hi Jill,
ReplyDeleteWe have a book in which we record any punishments. The idea is that Rick can review the book, see what issues I have been punished for and whether there is a pattern of repetition. It helps him in making discipline decisions.
I also tell him anything that happens. Any rule breaks etc. If we are unable to deal with the situation immediately he also tells me to write it in the book to ensure it is dealt with.
Hugs,
Roz
Hi Roz
DeleteThat is a great way to be held accountable which is a part of the learning process!
Super that Rick can find behavior patterns and discipline them if he deems fit.hugs
Jill
I have not tried this though I wonder if it might be a very good idea for us when my husband is out of town.
ReplyDeleteI'll add it to his list of suggestions!
Thanks Jill. Tell us how this works for you...please.
Thanks Susie I will.
DeleteIf your HoH is often out of town, this is a perfect tool for him.The more he knows, the happier he'll be!!
My HoH has to get used to it - but deep down I know he'll like it!
Hugs Jill
I have been entertaining this very idea, but only with the bad I do. I think it would be great when I do start it to do both, write the good and bad. Thank you for the suggestion!
ReplyDeleteThanks EsMay
DeleteIf you tell him both - he knows more.
The more he knows - the better he leads!
Hugs
Jill
We chat about this during maintenance. It's what works for us. I just wouldn't have time to write things down these days - and my days are pretty mundane when I'm not working. I don't really have the desire to misbehave. I did enough of that in the past, and I am very lucky we got through it all. It's now my job to atone. And I do that because of love. My very worst fault is procrastination. To get over that I promise myself little treats when things are done. Like an hour at the computer when I've finished the housework, or ironing or such.
ReplyDeleteI just finished cleaning the kitchen floor and Starman came in from outside and walked all over it. So I chased him round and round the island with a wet mop. In the end we just hugged and he told me he would put my head in the bucket if I wasn't careful. We just fell about laughing. We are so much more relaxed with each other now, and our jokes never have a hard edge to them.
You have to do what works for you Jill. So I will read what you have to say with interest. It may interest you that my degree dissertation was all about keeping journals. I kept them for years and wrote all sorts of notes and reflections and additions to them. It helped me a great deal, but I had never heard of Dd at the time. So I do think they are very good things.
Many hugs, Ami
What has been working for my wife and I so far is taking a little while after I get home from work to discuss what happened that day (Kids, baby, bills due, etc.)Then she tells me what she did. Discipline follows within a very short time after "confession". I have to trust her honesty. She has been very good at coming clean when a rule has been broken. If there is ever a time when I think she may not be the most honest I will have her write a journal to better keep track.
ReplyDelete